Ringmaster of Chaos

There seems to be two types of suburban homes around me.  Those where the homes are organized, toys are put away, floors are vacuumed, and coat are hung up where they should be.  And then there are those where the edges of busy lives sneak around bedroom doors, shoes are piled up by doors, and the there are at least a few piles of clothes here and there.

Then there is our house.

Our daughter is allergic to cleaning.  And she has an uncontrollable drive to create.  Projects are partly finished, and another begins.  Our son is into Legos, particularly recreating Star Wars battles, or adding his own personal versions of droids and spaceships to the fleets.  Then they both bring out their other projects…protesting all the while to any request to put away things first.

Then there are the school papers.  And my office for work is really a Surface Pro and a bag of files which spread out as I reserve my office area of creative pursuits.  Layer on hockey bags, cats, PTO projects, church committee papers, hockey coaching papers, and the still unpacked toys from the latest trip to the grandparents….


Swept away by Chaos.

A month or so ago I decided I wasn’t going to just live with Chaos as another family member that comes along with two very active, imaginative, never-stopping children.  I also admitted to myself that I am a person attracted to a level of Chaos, that I need a level of distraction, a level of activity, to keep my mind appeased.

But Chaos was getting the upper hand.  How was I going to gain control?  How to take control even if I seemed to be doing everything I could?

First, acknowledge that I have to admit that I had opened the door to Chaos and allowed it to enter into my life.  I had given it feet and hands, a shape and a place to exist.

I’m still not sure I’ve fully acknowledged it’s form.  But I know it’s there.  My cop-out.  My excuse.  Perhaps my wall to keep me distracted from all that I really need to pay attention to and deal with.

So I’m taking on Chaos.  I’m taming it.  If only day by day.

The firs step  is to know it is there.  To realize that I truly have control over my time, my life, my destiny.

My ultimate goal?  To replace Chaos with Comfort.

And to do that, no better way then keeping myself accountable then sharing it with you.


Question:  What is something in our life that is a barrier for your personal contentment?  What does it look like?  What can you name it?



Posted in Deliberate Living, Mental Health, Parenting | Tagged ,

Opening Eyes and Moving Our Feet

I often wonder what it takes for someone with confidence in their beliefs to open their eyes to something new, to something different.

When we are so sure about what we know, what the right way forward is, that we are in the right.  That we know what other people should do.  Or shouldn’t do.

But are we ready to open our eyes?  Open our eyes to their thoughts, their fears, their motivations.

Are we ready to open our eyes to ours?  What are our own fears and motivations?

I see all those protesting in the streets for the homeless, for the refugees, for so many in desperate need…but then I see in my own wealthy corner of the United States the refugees struggling to make it, our own citizens relegated to the curb as if they are “unclean”.

Are those protesting, those writing letters to congress, those posting on FB links to news articles….are they follow-up with actually feeding the hungry and housing the homeless?  welcoming the refugees on the shores?  helping those here get citizenship?

I thank all those who have the time and willingness to go out and protest.  It is not a gift I have, but I wish too, that if those hundreds and thousands not only protested and wrote and commented, but those of them who also had the gift, would share their blessings.

Is talk enough?  Is protesting enough?  Especially when no one seems to be opening their eyes?

I wonder myself, what I am still not seeing.



Posted in Deliberate Living, Spiritual Practice, Theology