“Our truest response to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find truth.” – Madelein L’Engle
I need to get it out. I need to write, to journal.
I started in elementary school, filling books with words. There were times I didn’t write for months, other times I wrote daily.
While overall I just write my thoughts – good or bad – I now add in notes on my children’s lives.
I write to myself, I write to my kids and their kids, I write to God.
It’s stream of conscious…going on pages for one or another topic, then switching to record a major event in the news or a few details from a major event.
Yet through everything, it is my way of making sense of the chaos.
“In prayer and in the creative process, the mind and the heart, the intellect and the intuition, the conscious and the subconscious stop fighting each other as they so often do and collaborate. As two people do who know each other, who love each other. And if the love of two people is a gift, a totally unmerited gift, so is the union of mind and heart. When we try to control our lives totally with the self we think we know, self-awareness is inhibited.” –Madeleine L’Engle, Herself: Reflections on a Writing Life
For me, writing is the process of weeding through the distractions and getting to the point where I am truly listening to God.
In the past few years I have moved from just journaling, to purposeful writing.
I started to blog as a way to commit to writing. This blog has changed over time, and even now I am in discernment of how to refine it in order to match where God is leading.
The next step has been to start leading writing sessions with the purpose of making sense of the world through writing spiritually.
I also have a few projects in the works…projects that are difficult to develop as the demands of motherhood and a changing ministry landscape create their own chaos.
So with that, comes a redefining. What is God calling me to do? What is God insisting I do?
I need to focus…and as I do this, I’ll continue blogging, but with a more intentional purpose.
If you are a writer – professionally and/or by calling…you get what I mean. But as a Child of God, you get what I mean too.
We can continue our lives being pulled in many directions – or we can intentionally live the life God uniquely created for us.
Creator God – Your creation is so amazing and wonderful that I desire to do and know and see so much! Yet all things come in their own time…and what is meant for me now is different from what is meant for me a year from now. Lord, help me – help us – to be self-aware, to make sense of my place in this world. Help me create the balance and joy in my life that You want for me. Help me be my uniquely amazing and glorious self (even on the days when I feel far from amazing and glorious). Amen.