A Book that Can Change Your Life: The 5 Love Languages

I admit I am a bit skeptical when someone suggests a book, especially a “self-help” book.

After a few people unrelated people mentioned how it was important to them, I finally purchased Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages (the regular version).  Well, I thought of buying it, but it wasn’t until our 11th wedding anniversary approached and I hadn’t found a present for my husband yet, that I bought this book.

A self-help book on marriage for a wedding anniversary!  Yeah!

This might not work as a good present for you to give your spouse, but for me, it was an expression of how important our relationship is.  No matter how great it is, I want to make it better – even if it is great to begin with (we both agree we are blessed with our lives)!

Quick and easy reading, I recently finished this book and passed it “back” to my husband.  I could easily determine my love language (Words of Affirmation) and have guessed his, but will wait until he confirms.  While I do not see this making a huge impact on our marriage, I do appreciate its guidance in how to communicate better with my husband and improve our marriage.

Here are a few thoughts that stood out to me:

1) Like Gary, I too hope that my life makes this world a better place (see chptr 13).  How can you, personally, help this world be a better place to live the short amount of time we have?

2) What impact does a healthy marriage have on the future of their children, grandchildren, etc.?  Would a healthy marriage break a family cycle?

3) What if we could figure out the “love languages” of our children when they were still young?  How many less fights, hurt feelings and issues would we have?  What if teachers and daycare providers took this seriously in their classrooms?  (Gary has written a book regarding kids.)

4) What if we figured out the “love languages” of our colleagues, neighbors, friends, and relatives?  How would this transform your relationship with them?  (I’ll be incorporating this into my Flourishing in Conflict class in August 2013.  I did notice Gary has a new book out on   appreciating colleagues.)

This book is a quick read, but provides plenty to think about!

I know very little of Dr. Chapman’s work, but a quick glance of his websites show that he is very prolific.  I can’t speak to the effectiveness of his methods, but I love the concept of the 5 love languages and hope it makes an impact on your life!


God, you created us as amazing, unique beings with a multitude of ways to communicate.  Help us to uncover all the ways we can understand and help each other.  Lord, the time we have with those we love is precious, so help us not waste it doing the wrong thing when we have the opportunity to do the right thing (or at least try!).  Amen.

Flourishing in Conflict, August 5 & 12, 2013, Blessing House

About SFriant

I live to walk with others on their journeys - because everyone needs to know that they are loved, that they matter, and that they are doing amazing things. I'm a lot like our two kids: obsessed with learning, and constantly creating.
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