Sometimes they turn into a day. Sometimes longer.
Those times when that evil cloud comes over me, taking hold from my depths, making me doubt.
I wonder if God really has a plan for me, me! This tiny speck. A blink in all of space and time.
I’m one of just millions, billions! So many could replace me, do what I do, are doing what I dream of doing!
I struggle to move forward, to find my way, when already doing so much, but accomplishing what seems to be so little.
And then from the place deepest inside me, comes the yearning, the need, the requirement to come back to life.
I search for ways out, and fortunately, the path is not far.
God has blessed me. God has blessed me with being this tiny spec, this blink in all of space and time.
God has blessed me with this body, able to name my creator with each breath.
God has blessed me with this life, able to simply and dynamically be.
God has blessed me, as with the one who says “I am”, I am, too.
Lord, when the darkness creeps in, help me turn back to the light. Help me to remember that I am the only one you have created to live this life. I am the only one who can do what you have uniquely created me to do in this unique time and place. Lord, I am truly blessed, even when I have a difficult time accepting it. Amen.
An earlier post along the same lines: Depression – Twisted Cells
Join us at Finding Purpose and Balance retreat in Excelsior, MN on May 4th!
If you feel as if a cloud has settled into your soul or mind, if you have difficulty finding joy, if you feel overwhelmed, sinking, or lost: please find someone to talk to. You are not alone. We can all find ourselves depressed at times, or if you are like me, have a curious bit of twisted cells that will always be a challenge, and a blessing. There are many individuals who God has created to help you – friends, therapists, BeFrienders, Stephen Ministers, pastoral counselors, and many others. There are even places like The Blessing House that have open doors and hot coffee, a place to go when you don’t know where else to go. Reach out to those already in your circle, or find a new group. God will provide, you just need to be open to the opportunities.