A few months ago I picked up Confessions from an Honest Wife by Sarah Zacharias Davis from our church library. The title caught my attention as we were approaching our 10th year of marriage. Davis created a book books where you can read a few pages as life permits, by including first-person reflections by various women.
While the book leans towards the experiences of Christian women in “traditional” marriages or backgrounds, I found it interesting and helpful.
Now, I read a lot of books about marriage before we got married. We went to a pre-marriage prep weekend, talked about a lot of things, and knew that it was going to be a long haul. Yet, those books, even the wonderful weekend, was not enough advice to keep one going.
The longer a person lives, the more they are likely to change. The longer a marriage lasts, the more likely it is going to change. Life brings in new challenges and circumstances, but also as the individuals change, we react differently even to the same events.
One fact we cannot deny: All marriages have issues, as, after all, marriages are between two people (three, if you include God).
I believe from all that I have so far heard, read, seen and lived, that it is not about what the issues are, but how we deal with them, that determine the happiness and duration of a marriage.
Every marriage seems to work differently. What works for one couple, may not work for another. Yet, if there is no true commitment to the covenant of marriage, no true commitment to working together, no true commitment to change in oneself, I don’t see how it could work.
Confessions of an Honest Wife shares many stories of the reality of marriage. The consistent theme within them all is that the people are ultimately committed to not give up on the marriage, not give up on the spouse, not give up on themselves. Within each story is how a reliance on God as a 3rd partner in the marriage helps them not only survive, but flourish.
I recommend this book as helpful reading, as a way to reflect on your own marriage or signficant relationship. While you may not subscribe to the particular nuances of the marriages, you will benefit from the process they went through.
Lord, help all those in relationships whether the storms and enjoy the sunrises and sunsets. Amen.