When It’s Time


Photo by John Baker on Unsplash

A lot has happened in the last few weeks.

#MeToo and #KavanaughHearings have brought us to a moment in the women’s movement that is both exhausting and exhilarating.  Dangerous.  An edge of something.  No going back.  Those who want to fight reality will soon find the silent numbers are larger than they ever thought possible.  And why?  Because here in America we still don’t see women as fully able to determine what is for their own good.

I spent the weekend at the first Addiction & Faith Conference.  Amazing.  200+ people gathered to explore together how spiritual people – not just church people – can help find an end to addiction.  Or at least, expand access to recovery.  The numbers of those dying is horrible.  The cost to themselves, their families, to our society.  And we stand by and do nothing.  The health systems are only just realizing that it affects their bottom lines.  And why?????  Because here in America, we still think that when something in the brain isn’t working right, it is a failing of the Will, not a failing of the physical muscle.

When I returned to my next shift at a drop in center for struggling and homeless youth and young adults, I came face to face with how broken the system is.  With all that I try to do, in the end, all I can do is try to answer some questions in an area-wide housing intake program as accurately as possible, so that an honorable young man can get out of the cold and into housing before it snows.  But even with that, when his name is called, it may be months before he can move in anywhere….and the snow will be a foot deep then.

Then I come home to my mess of a house – and email an organizer to help me get things back on track.  As one of my mentors reminded me, we can’t do it all.  We have to find time for ourselves.

But when…when can we find time for ourselves when young adults who could work but can’t because they don’t have housing are needing help; when women are still afraid to talk because the accused will be believed; and when it is just a matter of time when another member of my community will die from an addition (isn’t enough that families are being torn apart right now?).


When it’s time for you to act.  You will know it.  Trust in your gut.

Say something.  Do something.  Pick something.

Claim your space.

Get your world in order.  Start at home.  Start with your community.

The world doesn’t get fixed unless we fix it.



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Ringmaster of Chaos

There seems to be two types of suburban homes around me.  Those where the homes are organized, toys are put away, floors are vacuumed, and coat are hung up where they should be.  And then there are those where the edges of busy lives sneak around bedroom doors, shoes are piled up by doors, and the there are at least a few piles of clothes here and there.

Then there is our house.

Our daughter is allergic to cleaning.  And she has an uncontrollable drive to create.  Projects are partly finished, and another begins.  Our son is into Legos, particularly recreating Star Wars battles, or adding his own personal versions of droids and spaceships to the fleets.  Then they both bring out their other projects…protesting all the while to any request to put away things first.

Then there are the school papers.  And my office for work is really a Surface Pro and a bag of files which spread out as I reserve my office area of creative pursuits.  Layer on hockey bags, cats, PTO projects, church committee papers, hockey coaching papers, and the still unpacked toys from the latest trip to the grandparents….


Swept away by Chaos.

A month or so ago I decided I wasn’t going to just live with Chaos as another family member that comes along with two very active, imaginative, never-stopping children.  I also admitted to myself that I am a person attracted to a level of Chaos, that I need a level of distraction, a level of activity, to keep my mind appeased.

But Chaos was getting the upper hand.  How was I going to gain control?  How to take control even if I seemed to be doing everything I could?

First, acknowledge that I have to admit that I had opened the door to Chaos and allowed it to enter into my life.  I had given it feet and hands, a shape and a place to exist.

I’m still not sure I’ve fully acknowledged it’s form.  But I know it’s there.  My cop-out.  My excuse.  Perhaps my wall to keep me distracted from all that I really need to pay attention to and deal with.

So I’m taking on Chaos.  I’m taming it.  If only day by day.

The firs step  is to know it is there.  To realize that I truly have control over my time, my life, my destiny.

My ultimate goal?  To replace Chaos with Comfort.

And to do that, no better way then keeping myself accountable then sharing it with you.


Question:  What is something in our life that is a barrier for your personal contentment?  What does it look like?  What can you name it?



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