Pinks, blues, greens, yellows, reds, and purples.  I had been drawn to the girly, happy prints of the 30′s, but never thought I would use them.

Then my daughter came along and I began collecting fat quarters (small, but usable pieces of fabric).  Figuring out a pattern and actually piecing the quilt took a few years.  While I kept to my original plan of including friendship stars, the more time consuming design was replaced by off-set strips.  In the end, it came together on our guest bed.

I finally completed it in time for last Christmas, a compromise of time, skill, and design.

Our lives are hectic.  That is an understatement.

Chaos seems more appropriate.

At times we are proactive, getting ahead and having things organized.  Other times it is pure catching-up or cleaning-up.

Chaos can’t be controlled.  Even when we have life ‘under control’, there is always the possibility for being derailed.

Quilting parallels a healthy spiritual life.

1) We have to find time for prayer and study, even if it is carving out odd moments or setting other things aside.

2) We can either follow someone else’s plan or our own, but either way, a unique outcome is produced.

3) Ultimately, each on of us has our own style which is influenced by the world around us, as well as our stage in life.

4) For some people it comes naturally, for others we need a lot of help and time to work on it.

5) In the end, we only do it if it is rewarding.  Both quilting and spiritual practices can sometimes be a bit tedious, but in the end, the good greatly outweighs everything else.

Master Creator, help us learn to create in our lives good things, bringing love and comfort to others, and to ourselves.  Amen.

As I’ve written in an earlier post, God has infused me with a drive to learn.  Right now, I’m on a reading kick of women’s memoirs.  And not just any stories, but those about personal growth/change.

This series included Alisa Harris’ Raised Right: How I Untangled My Faith from Politics.

With a double major in International Relations and Political Theory & Constitutional Democracy, then a Masters of Divinity, I’m drawn to the interaction of religion and politics.  So a woman’s story about how she dealt with these two aspects in her life quickly jumped into my hands.

I’m thankful Alisa had the courage to write this.  Not everyone will agree with her journey to this point, but it is her journey.  

God, the ultimate observant parent, approaches us as unique beings, knowing what works with us and what won’t.  What I consider ultimately important is that when God approaches us, we do not run away, but rather, open our lives to our Creator.   We are likely to disagree on at least one detail, but I believe that Christians can come together on that one (I hope!).

As she stated, “[w]riting is not just how I communicate my thoughts but how I actually think.  It’s the way an experience or a fleeting thought becomes real to me instead of floating away.  It’s the way I catch my thoughts and turn them over and over, testing their weight and deciding whether to keep them or throw them away.  For me, to write is to become, and I can’t become that older, wiser person without skewering these youthful thoughts to paper, without holding them up for my scrutiny and yours.” (pg 7)

In that I found a kindred spirit.  In her story I found a world much different than my own.

For Alisa, in her “ironclad worldview, faith and politics were inseparable.”  Mine was almost exactly the opposite.

The separation of church and state was held high in my mind.  Yet in that, also came a separation of church and life.

In college, I balked at what seemed to me as a full avoidance of anything spiritual in the discussion of politics.  As if religion in all sorts had no, or at best extremely limited, influence on the development of democratic thought and politics.

This division led to an understanding in myself that I could not live without my faith, and my faith was intrinsic to my politics.

Alisa came from the right, I came from the left, and we meet somewhere in the middle.

I’m very thankful that Alisa had the courage to write this book.  I love her style, but I love her honesty the most.  Her inner theologian comes out on every page, as well as her understanding of God’s deep love and justice.

If you are a liberal/progressive Christian, read this to get a better understanding of conservative Christians.

If you are a conservative Christian, read this to get a better idea of why a portion of younger adults are moving away from the church.

If you are not a Christian, read this to get an idea of the diversity within American Christianity.

And if you love memoirs, this is a great read.

Lord, give us the courage to seek You on the unique paths You have laid out for each of us.   Give us the courage to speak Your Love to a messed-up world.  Give us courage to be together in community.  Amen.

Click here to read an interview with Alisa Harris.

Yes, It’s My Kid…
You know, the one who starts poking the boy next to him during the end-of-year school show.

The one who has six different projects going on at the same time – then corrects me that it is only three.

The one who pulled the fire alarm at church because…(click here to read more!)

In an effort to escape the mess at home and get some work done, I overheard a bit of a conversation between two women.  After introducing myself, I was blessed to meet Laura Ely and Sheila Bauer!

I’m excited to invite you to an hour with Laura Ely as she shares with us her gift for helping embrace who we are through personal style!

Body Talk

May 17, 2013 , 9:30-11:30am
Mount Calvary Lutheran Church, Rm. 207
301 County Road 19, Excelsior, MN 55331
Hosted by MotherCare, childcare available
RSVP suggested.

LauraElyStyle

Discover Your Beauty and Personal Brand
Creating the style and wardrobe you love to wear everyday.
Are you ready to align your style with who you are on a deep level – your authentic self?
Are you ready to create a clear and consistent brand image?
Are you ready for change and the next step to greater personal and professional success?

As founder of LauraElyStyle, Laura is a vibrant combination of image consultant, color expert and master stylist.  Laura’s powerful discovery process develops and defines a confident and effective personal style and brand.

Laura is a master stylist and wardrobe consultant with more than 20 years experience in the fashion industry.  Since 1991, her clients have included professionals working at major companies, non-profits, and government, as well as busy mom and dads!

Check out her blog post Body Talk!

Looking for an alternative to the coffee shop, but still offer the option for possible networking?

Looking for a great place to get a break?  Check out Blessing House in Victoria, MN!  They have coffee and a great view, so perfect place to spend a few hours working!  Please leave a donation in the box on the entry-way table to support their mission!  (I love it as a place to write!)

In need for a place to work or hold meetings?  Check out The Commons in Excelsior, MN.  They are fully equipped for all your needs and only steps away from Lake Minnetonka!(Perfect for weekend retreats or meetings as in walking distance from great shopping and dining!)

(In fact, I’m supposed to be getting myself and the kids ready to go, as one will be going to a friends and the other has asked to go with me to a celebration for the 90 and over crowd at our church.  Then an afternoon of cleaning before my husband gets back from a week away.)

I can’t even tell you what has all happened or that is hanging over my life – one of those blurs that I will only be able to fully realize when I take out my calendar and journal weeks or months from now.

Yet, I have felt the valleys and mountain tops, and all those moments in between.  As an introvert by nature, and extrovert by training, both sides of me have been tested.  As a wife and mom, I feel I’ve been a big neglectful, but also know that it has been a time that has fed me and helped me be a better wife and mom.  As someone in ministry…

As someone in ministry I have been both blessed and have blessed.  God has surrounded me with some very amazing men and women.  New people have been brought into my life and dear friends have made their presence known.

In truth, I wonder if this time has been a preparation for something:  something only God knows.

The one thing that is sitting with me now, the one thing I just had to write about and share, was that it is truly through community that God works.

God has blessed me, me, a one-time girl who could barely talk to others, with meeting some extremely interesting and amazing people – and truly connecting with them!

God has blessed me, me, a woman once filled with shame, to have numerous people reach out and tell me how I have blessed them!

God has blessed me, me, someone who only wants to do God’s Will, with the knowledge that I am actually doing it!

It is in others that we see the face of Christ, and it is through others that we learn that we can be the face of Christ too.

Lord, help us all open ourselves to a deeper and stronger relationship with you, so that we may have deeper and stronger relationships with friends, family and strangers.  Amen.

Multiple times my plans for visiting with individuals or groups have been derailed due to misplaced snow storms.  For someone who can’t ‘work’ unless she can get there by car, I got really frustrated.  I have spent an unusual amount of time on the phone talking with folks, but even that does not really replace face-to-face contact.  (Only in traffic does my ‘work’ feel like ‘work’ anyway.)

When my frustration or anger peeks, I know it is time to listen to myself and to the Spirit.  With God, if we don’t learn something the first time, we always get another chance to learn the lesson.

Patience has always been a huge growing edge with me.  I have gained a lot of patience – especially with being a mom, marriage and therapy. Oh, and simply years of living.  Yet, here was another opportunity to be reminded that patience is a virtue!

In the Common English Bible (according to biblegateway.com), patience appears 25 times, with many more verses having a related meaning.  Among these, Romans 2:3-5 struck me the hardest.

“If you judge those who do these kinds of things while you do the same things yourself, think about this: Do you believe that you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you have contempt for the riches of God’s generosity, tolerance, and patience? Don’t you realize that God’s kindness is supposed to lead you to change your heart and life? You are storing up wrath for yourself because of your stubbornness and your heart that refuses to change. God’s just judgment will be revealed on the day of wrath.”  (Romans 2:3-5, CEB)

How can I judge others when I may feel or do the same?  How can I have no patience for someone else, when God has enormous patience for me?  How can I demand something from someone else, when I could not do the same in return?

Be it frustration with unusual weather, dealing with day-to-day life, or being on a different places in our faith journeys, God calls us to reflect the patience He has for us in how we deal with others.  Just as Paul declares in Corinthians 12:12, a true apostle is patient!

May God help us to be patient with others and ourselves, as we daily strive to to follow Christ.

Two related posts:  Letter’s To My Children: Gift of Patience and Prayer: Carpet Poop

Additional insight on patience by another blogger:  Patience (birthinukraine.wordpress.com)

The snake was the most intelligent of all the wild animals that the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, ‘Did God really say that you shouldn’t eat from any tree in the garden?’”   The woman said to the snake, ‘We may eat the fruit of the garden’s trees but not the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden.  God said, ‘Don’t eat from it, and don’t touch it, or you will die.’  The snake said to the woman, ‘You won’t die!  God knows that on the day you eat from it, you will see clearly and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.  The woman saw that the tree was beautiful with delicious food and that the tree would provide wisdom, so she took some of its fruit and ate it, and also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  Then they both saw clearly and knew that they were naked.  (selected verses from Genesis 2:15-22, 3:1-7, CEB)

A few observations:
1) God created the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, either in actual physical form or as a symbolic expression of a spiritual reality.

2) God told the human to not eat of it before the partner, woman, was formed.

3) The story does not say who tells the woman this information.

4) The story includes that the “snake was the most intelligent of all the wild animals that the Lord God had made”.  Three points on this:  a) God created the snake, b) God made it intelligent, but not as intelligent as humans (‘wild animals’), and c) how did the snake know about the tree?

Theological Questions Based on these Observations
1) Why did God create the tree of knowledge of good and evil?

2) Does the tree of knowledge of good and evil represent a concept or knowledge of actual “good” and “evil” beings?  (Up to this point in Genesis  it is my understanding that God saw all His creation as good.)

3) Why/how did the snake (as created by God to be the most intelligent of the wild animals) have any interest in deceiving the humans?

4) Should we assume that up to this point that God has full domain over all actions/thoughts/causes/effects within creation?  Is Free Will only after the Fall?

Where am I going with this?
It is in my God-given nature to question and test, discerning what is of God and what is not.  I do not bring this up to dispute other interpretations, but rather offer the question up for discussion – as we are all reflections of God, our combined discernment is more helpful then me sitting in a room by myself (or with my little kids).

If God planned the Fall, then the details of our theological assumptions come into question:

1) Did God use the woman in a similar way of using Judas to fulfill God’s Plan?  If so, how does this change the Christian conception of women?

2) For that matter, is the snake involved in this event at the direction of God?

3) Does the knowledge and existence of evil need to be embraced differently if it is something God intended and created?  (Please note here that I use ‘knowledge’ not ‘enacted’, just as in the scriptures.)

What do you think?  I am eagerly awaiting your thoughts!

Only a few short weeks before the Finding Purpose and Balance Spiritual Retreat in Excelsior, MN!  This is a wonderful opportunity to benefit from Jasna Burza’s amazing insights and enjoy a mental/spiritual spa day!

*I realize it was not an apple tree, but rather a fruit tree of some sort.  Just an easier title!

Related blog posts which I include for your discernment:

• How can God have blessed such evil (gracetracer.wordpress.com) 
  
• Why did God make the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (readprayblog.wordpress.com)
• The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (jasonbrooks.wordpress.com)
• The serpent In The Garden (savedbygraceblogdotcom.wordpress.com)

If only all conversations can be as easy as talking with a princess!

Sometimes we hear something, but it takes a while to sink in.

It’s that learn by doing thing. 

Now, I heard the advice when it was shared, but only through living life and coming up against challenges do the words become part of who we are.

Say it and shut-up.  I learned this from my now retired college writing professor, Dr. Ronald Dorr.  This is not how he said it, but you get the idea.  When we add unnecessary words, use difficult language, or avoid the point, what we are trying to communicate quickly gets lost.  Be clear and direct.  Choose words wisely.  Edit.

Only ask questions that you honestly do not know the answers to.  This comes from my chaplain residency director, Scott McRae.  When we begin any interaction completely confident in knowing that we ‘get it all’, there is no point in going forward.  Their experience, knowledge and beliefs are just as valid as ours.  Even as a teacher instructing a class or a pastor in front of a congregation, we all can learn something from each other.  Dictating our absolute thoughts and beliefs to someone else only serves to alienate and/or shame them.  None of us are perfect, and we are all on a transformative journey.  Meet the other person where they are, from where we are.  We may be in the same physical place, but spiritually and developmentally, we could easily be in different galaxies.

It isn’t important what you meant to say, but how the other person heard it.  My Dad, Dennis Hansen, shared this with me when I was a teenager.  As a hormonal young girl looking at life as more unfair than fair, I didn’t want to hear this.  Why does all the responsibility lie on me? Shouldn’t, can’t, the other person take some ownership too?  Yet, no one can read our mind.  We are limited by biology, emotions and experience.  We or the other person may be having a difficult day, didn’t get enough sleep, having memory issues, or on a lot of pain killers.  Our brains can have a few glitches, making both sides of the conversation into the telephone game.  Even the words we used could be translated differently, as words carry baggage.  A simple ‘we’ could be seen as ‘you and me’ rather than ‘all of mankind.’  Plus, my experience of the word ‘Spirit’ may have a completely different connotation than yours.  Finally, the method of discussion can warp perceptions.  When the communication isn’t a fluid and equal interchange, the insidious effects of unequal power come into play.  In the end, we can never control what the other person hears, but knowing that the message heard is likely different than the message said, we can do our best to increase the odds of getting our meaning across.
Effective and honest communication is far from easy.  There is a reason why there are Dale Carnegie courses, degrees in communications, and a thriving court system.  I pray that these tips can be as life change for you as they have been for me.  As with anything, it can take a while for a concept to become natural to us.

May the unique and wonderful person you are shine through all the limitations of our earth-bound world!

Come and enjoy a wonderful day pampering yourself – soul, mind and spirit!  
Finding Purpose and Balance Retreat,  Sat. May 4th, Excelsior, MN

Here are a few additional resources:
The Chasm of Effective Communication faithvillage.com
Effective Communication: Getting Things Done in Groups University of Maine Extension Services
Communication Tips United States Coast Guard

While currently a wife and mother, dividing time between ministry and parenting and living in a comfortable suburb of Minneapolis, my perspective on this reaches into the diversity of New Orleans, the never have left my Kansas town, and the craziness of Chicago and D.C.

We each have unique and amazing stories.  And with that, there are certain ideas, concepts and language that we are drawn towards.

Yet, there is one message that, I believe, transcends it all:  We are all created as unique individuals who are called to become fully who we truly are.

It is this message that I see in Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In.

She has honestly written from her experience and perspective.  She balances the experience of individuals with solid research.  She honors and demystifies the challenges women unconsciously and consciously face.

Sheryl does not ever say that leaving kids at home in the care of nannies or in daycare centers is the only option, or the right option for all.  She respects that other women do not have choices, and are either forced on welfare as they can’t afford to work (high cost of daycare – MN is at/near the top of the list) or forced to make a choice they don’t want.  She also respects that all women do not fit into a mold – some do, many don’t.

The message I got from Lean In was that we all have our own unique circumstances, gifts, life journeys and priorities.  And it will only help all of us to live out the life we are intended to live (the one God created us to live) if we each empower ourselves to do just that: live our own lives.  By living out the life we are to live, we can help others do the same.

As Sheryl points out, some of us have an easier time actually living the way we are called to, and others have no options, or very limited options.  Yet – if we all do whatever we can to lean into our lives, in the end, we will all be able to do so.

This is a message not just to working women, but to all men and women – that by erasing the    conscious and unconscious judgments, we each can fully be who God created us to be.

Gracious God – help us all feel empowered to use our voices.  Help us to live the life You intended and created us for.  Lord, help us to lean into wherever we are and whomever we are.  Amen.

Here is an opportunity to learn how to lean in to your life!
Finding Purpose and Balance Retreat, May 4th, Excelsior MN

Additional discussions regarding Lean In.
Lean In: How to organize a social movement and be home in time for dinner. by GenXYZ
Interview: Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg by Financial Times
Five Career Moves Everyone Can Learn From Sheryl Sandberg by Business 2 Community

You never know who someone’s neighbor, old classmate, or mother is!  Our casual and supportive discussion on May 3rd will be infused with the unique insights and experience of our special guest, who just happens to be the mother of two of our members.

MotherCare is  extremely excited to be hosting Judy Baer on May 3rd.  She is truly an amazing person, whose honest and straightforward approach instantly allows one to gain a deeper understanding of oneself as well as feeling empowered!

MotherCare at Mount Calvary Lutheran Church, Excelsior, Room 207

Please RSVP here.

Judy’s Websites:

Judy’s Life/Personal Coaching Website  (currently under construction)

Judy’s Coaching Writers Website (both published & non-published)

Judy’s Writing Website

Judy’s Bio:

Judy Baer, MA, PCC, CPCC, is the author of more than 80 books including two non-fiction books.    Baer has twenty five years experience in the publishing industry and twelve years in the coaching profession.  In addition, she has written features for Woman’s Day, Guideposts’ Faith and Stuff, various regional papers and magazines, taught community education classes in both writing and coaching and done public speaking.  She is adjunct faculty of St. Mary’s University, an advisor in the master’s program for MA’s in human development.

Her education includes a B.A. in English and Education from Concordia College, Moorhead, MN, a Masters in Human Development from St. Mary’s University, Minneapolis, MN and certifications in five coaching models.

Her coaching training includes certification as a CPCC (Certified Professional Co-Active Coach) through the Coaches Training Institute, certification as aDreamcoach® through Dream University® and certification in Equine Assisted Psychotherapy Level I through the Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association.  Her most recent training and certification is from Leadership Breakthru.  She has the PCC (Professional Certified Coach) rank from the International Coaching Federation.  Her other training includes FOL (Foundations of Learning) through the Newfield Network.

Baer, before turning to women’s fiction wrote forty-five books for teens and children like the twenty-eight book Cedar River Daydreams series (Bethany House) which sold over 1.25 million copies and the six book series Live From Brentwood High.  She has several million young adult, romance and women’s fiction books in print as well as two non-fiction books for teens. Her books have been translated into several languages and sold worldwide.

To date she has written for publishers including Harlequin, Zondervan, Bethany House, Tyndale, Thomas Nelson, Bantam, Ballentine, Guideposts book division, Willowisp Press and now, Steeple Hill, an imprint of Harlequin.  In 2004 The Whitney Chronicles was published, a first person, humorous women’s fiction/chick lit book which Publishers’ Weekly called “Bridget Jones goes to church.”  The Whitney Chronicles, chosen as the launch title for the Steeple Hill Café  was featured on The Daily Show by Jon Stewart, Paul Harvey’s radio show and the New York Post, among others.

Her books have been honored with numerous awards including several first place for fiction awards from both the National Federation of Press Women and ND Professional Communicators, a Silver Diary and a Bronze Medallion from Romance Writers of America.  She has also been a three time RITA finalist and received an Angel Award and a Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice Award.

As well as being named North Dakota Professional Communicators’ (a part of the National Federation of Press Women) Woman of the Year (1994) and Concordia College, Moorhead, MN, Alumni Achievement Award (1994) and Midwest Fiction Writer’s 2007 Author of the Year, Baer speaks regularly at public functions including key-noting brunches and luncheons, and has participated in panels at RWA national conferences, taught community education and led workshops.

Baer is a member of national writers groups such as MFW, RWA, Novelists’ Inc., MCW, ACFW, FHL chapter of RWA, the Published Author’s Network (PAN) and CAN.  She has been part of workshops at Minnesota Christian Writers, Midwest Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America (membership 9,500) national and local meetings.    Baer’s participation in CAN has included being the official writing coach for the organization, offering one coaching (life or writing) session per year per member gratis.  She is consistently reviewed In Publishers Weekly and on several sites including Romantic Times, Armchair Interviews, Library Thing, Faithful Reader, All Reader and Library Journal.  She speaks and signs at schools, bookstores, book fairs, librarians’ associations, churches and fund raisers, has done a promotional satellite feed and spoken to college groups.

As a coach, Baer has both writing and non-writing clients.  Baer is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) which has a membership of 13,000 people, the Minnesota Coaching Association (MCA), personal and group blogs and writer web sites.

Don’t Miss:  Finding Purpose and Balance Retreat, May 4th